Tuesday, August 13, 2013

How to avoid 'teeth' during oral sex: take them out!!

The toilet kept clogging at the club space I manage, so we
had to take it off its base and put on a new wax ring and screws.
Underneath at the base of the toilet (past the curve) 
I discovered the source of the clog: 
someone's TEETH!
How did THAT happen?!!


Friday, August 2, 2013

Lady Gaga's Naked Penis in V magazine (+ GNI's Naked Camping!)

Lady Gaga goes completely naked for "V" magazine, September 2013.
I LOVE photoshopping and HAD to do this to the latest naked photo of Lady Gaga by Inez and Vinoodh.
Enjoy.  :-)

Oh, and since you're here, check out (my alter ego) Pickles' latest video promoting the upcoming nudist Gathering sponsored by GNI (Gay Naturists International) in the Poconos!
Pickles will be hosting the Best Buns contest again.  
Naked Gay Camping!!!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Village Voice Tranny Chaser Chaser

An article just came out in The Village Voice that includes an interview with Pickles, my drag alter ego.
Yes, I have sex in drag. And now the world outside of this blog knows it!

For those who want to read the article (and please do!) by Tony Phillips, go to this link:

The accompanying illustration is both funny and offensive. But apparently there's an image of Pickles (NOT looking stubbly) also in the article, so it's clear their interpretation of a tranny is MEANT to be funny. And I have a sense of humor. Plus I DON'T shave my arms or legs.

The photo of me in drag they're using...

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Next Magazine Sex Issue!

Our exciting adult playground was used as the location to shoot Next magazine's Sex Issue, coinciding with the Black Party Weekend.

I figured I should jump on this since they published a link to this blog!
And the previous entry about Grandma sex wasn't exactly enticing (skip that one, please!)

P.S. I had one favorite model, a flirty young man who sat on my lap during part of the photoshoot, but I'll let y'all try to figure out who that was.
A clue: Who's the bottom in these photos? (It's not difficult to figure out!)

Oh, and Jeff shot a little video to accompany the shoot.
Here's a link to that: http://vimeo.com/21042923

And here are the images that talented photographer Jeff Eason (of WilsonModels) took.
His website is at: http://wilsonmodels.blogspot.com/

Monday, February 28, 2011

Granny sex and so much more!

Prosthetic malfunctions, grandmas and straights -- oh my!
(That's my version of going through the woods en route to see the Wizard of Oz.)

For the first time since the summer of 1983, I got a blow job from a girl!
Actually it was a 60 year old Russian woman -- and I was dressed in drag as Marilyn Monroe.
But we'll get to that later...

Last week was the LGBT 9th Anniversary party and it was a pretty amazing event, bringing out a great mix of young and old, black and white, male and female, gay and straight and everything in between those extremes.

The main focus of the evening for me was a performance I had to do with my fellow hostess Dee (a very sexy trannie). She was my duet partner and we were lipsynching to the original version of "No More Tears (Enough is Enough.)" Being the sexy Latina, she did the Donna Summer part, leaving me with someone named Barbra Streisand.

Earlier in the week, in addition to rehearsing the number, we also went shopping for outfits at Mandee (in the Atlantic Center/Brooklyn) and bought the same dress on sale: http://www.mandee.com/product/QAA/MD-M03011032509650/264/
It looked great on both of us and they had one more in the size we needed, so we bought two and decided to have "the same dress" be the story of our performance: we would start out in one outfit (different styled feather boa-lined pancho/jackets) and then as we took them off, realize we were wearing the same outfit and get into a fight that turns into sex as I realize how much I enjoy her whipping me with my own glove.

Well, the performance was a hit. The crowd really seemed to get into it!
We kept it as fresh as possible to fill the song's entire 4 minutes and 43 seconds!
(It's a long one! Ahem.)

One snafu (that turned out to be comedy gold): Since Pickles has a short upturned nose, there's no way she could pull off Barbra Streisand, so a wax prosthetic was employed, courtesy of Ben Nye wax and some olive oil to smooth it into shape.
I was actually quite frightening looking with heavy, dark eye makeup, more like a wicked witch.

And to top off the outfit, I had a white afro and a headband made from a silver sequined elastic belt that was too big, so I twisted it around and under the back of the wig, and wrapped it around my neck as a choker, locking it in the front. It looked amazing!
But once the disco part of "No More Tears" kicked in and I really started to ham it up and move around, my nose immediately fell off onto the stage.
The audience noticed and immediately responded positively. So at my earliest convenience, I bent over and picked it up and tried to mash it back on my face. About 20 seconds later it fell off again and my choker/head band combo came undone.

It was like my entire costume was literally falling apart as the song continued.

But the show must go on and we made it to the end with much applause, my belt wrapped around my neck like a scarf and my wax nose smeared all over the stage floor.

With the show behind me, and my Barbra nose non-existent, I refreshed my makeup, put on a new outfit and proceeded to monitor the space to make sure everyone's behavior was appropriate.

In the back room, a sexy lean (German?) woman with blond spiky hair was on the bed with three big-dicked African-American men. Clearly she was controlling the situation, and I've seen her play before, so I wasn't worried so much about what was happening there.
Next to the bed, however, were two OTHER young African-American men that were sitting on a leather padded sawhorse watching... and watching in a way that didn't feel right. They kinda looked like straight dudes enjoying watching a girl get fucked. So Pickles approached them:

Pickles: So... what are you guys into?
Guys: No answer.
Pickles: You like watching girls get fucked?
Guys: nodding.
Pickles: So you're straight?
Guys: Yeah.
Pickles: Well, I'm sorry, but we don't allow straight guys at this party, so I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Guys: Oh, ok. We didn't know that.
Pickles: ...NOW!
Guys: We want our money back, then.
Pickles: Yes, you'll get you money back. Let's go.

And I led them back to clothes check to get dressed and leave.
Apparently they complained to the other staff people that they hadn't gotten a chance to relax into the party... and were just told to leave for no reason.

So... what would've happened after they "relaxed into the party?"
They would've changed their sexual orientation with a few beers?
I don't have the time or patience for that kind of bullshit.

And even later on, the girl on the bed told me she noticed the guy closest to her on the sawhorse and felt something wasn't right about the way he was watching.

That element CAN'T be at this party if it's to succeed.
And after nine years, I think we're getting the hang of it.

Clearly they hadn't been there before and didn't read the rules posted at the entrance. They arrived with a gay friend (that probably got them in -- gay by association), but even the gay guy didn't realize queer-friendly hetero men are not invited.
As much of an exciting power trip it is to catch people like that and kick them out, just knowing that they're there in OUR queer space, invading OUR turf... it's like, can't we have SOMETHING that's just for us?
Why do straight men have to come in and spoil it?
And trust me (after nine years, I know) they do (spoil it.)

Once they were gone I felt a sense of relief.
Kind of like after the show.

And I could perhaps get a little involved with someone as long as I kept up my monitoring duties.

And the man I wanted to play with was there -- an INCREDIBLY sexy I-Want-To-Marry-You Indian guy with a beautiful cock, an amazing ass and the most dazzling eyes/eyelashes you'll ever see.
He ALSO happens to be into feet and I've written about him before -- with my foot through the glory hole to help him cum. ("Nice to Feet You" Sept. 4, 2010)
Actually I called him Abraham at that time and said he was "Middle Eastern." I'm pretty sure he told me his heritage was Indian, so let's change that to Abrahindi.
Whatever. He's HOT!

And he's TOTALLY gay, has had a boyfriend for years, but wants to try something with a woman and for it to happen organically, not something contrived that will end up being a show for everyone to watch. (But ANYTIME a woman is having sex at one of the LGBT parties, it BECOMES a show, so good luck with that Abrahindi!)

There weren't many bisexual women at the party wanting to play with men, but there was ONE he had expressed interest in -- and she's a regular at the party: a 60 year old Russian woman who always arrives early with her husband (or I assume it's her husband) and will give her pussy up to almost any friendly guy who wants it. And many (hot!) guys do! (I'm mean COME ON -- it's genuine PUSSY and pussy rules this world, I've learned!)
She kinda looked like Alice Ghostly (from "Designing Women" or "Bewitched").
So as much as Abrahindi didn't want a forced scene, he and "Olga" were in the same room. And Pickles was going to make it happen.

I had already talked to Abrahindi about so he knew what I was up to, it was just a matter of bringing in Olga.
So Pickles approached her in a yellow chiffon accordion-pleated mini dress reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe (according to others) white wig turned backwards to create a mini-Farrah flip look.

Olga took the bait, as her equally-aged husband (seated nearby) unenthusiastically looked on. She reached under my dress and began playing with my dick.
UGH!!! A "girl" touching my dick. Yuck!

So I looked over to Abrahindi and motioned with my head for him to come over and join us. He happily obliged.

I encouraged him to take out his dick so Olga could see it too. He was already getting aroused and before I knew it, Olga's fondling of my penis turned into a full fledged blow job! This 60 year old Russian grandmother was sucking my cock as I was dressed like Marilyn Monroe!
Ok, so maybe she's not a grandmother, but she's certainly old enough to be one.

And she WAS sucking my dick and I WAS getting hard!
Yes, Olga was a masterful cock sucker, but what was making me erect was having Abrahindi next to me, with our arms around each other, watching our dicks get worked.
Yes OUR dicks, because within less than minute after sucking my dick, Olga was grabbing Abrahindi's with her free hand.

Incredible. What a pro!

It was making Abrahindi hard and that in turn was keeping me aroused!

Abrahindi responded to the attention by putting his hand down Olga's loose red blouse to fondle her 60 year old breasts.
The nerve!
But she didn't push his hand away; she was accepting his aggressive behavior, as I accepted hers.

The whole scene couldn't have lasted for more than five minutes from beginning to end, because frankly, I was kind of grossed out by it (not because she was older, but because she was a girl)!
But it allowed me more time with Abrahindi who admitted he'd like to try fisting a girl, but has never done it, let alone, fuck a girl.

He's really kind of traditional in his interests: he likes his girls feminine and his men, older and masculine.
And trannies and drag queens like Pickles don't fit into that equation.
And even if I changed back to myself, he said it'd be hard to get the image of Pickles out of his mind. So I guess I shot myself in the foot with that one.

As for our three-way, I think it ended it before Olga even got around to sucking Abrahindi's dick.

Abrahindi ended up playing with another girl later in the night and at least got to finger her, which was a new fantasy fulfilled for him.
And me?

Well, as I said at the outset, that's that second blowjob I've gotten from a girl -- the first one being in the summer of '83.

And hopefully the next one won't be for another 28 years.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Banana Surprise!

Now that the holidays are over it seems Pickles has... soured.

Poor girl. No one wants to look at her videos.
The only thing "viral" about Pickles is her vaginal herpes.
But I digress.

Still Pickles plans to do some more videos, this time singing a couple songs about Safe Sex and then seeing if she can get interviewed about her views on sexual culture on the Howard Stern radio show, which is her dream!

Until then, there's STILL naughty shit going on at the parties, and I mean that almost literally.

Perhaps part of writing this blog is having something to actually write about.
And this past weekend was able to deliver a big one. So to speak.

One word: banana(s).

It's been important at parties for me to provide SOMETHING for the guys to get their energy up. And since I don't do drugs and I'm not a cocaine or crystal meth dealer, I opt to take the route of sugar or chocolate as my energy source.
And recently, in addition to putting out Little Debbie Treats, I started putting out bananas as a way of getting the guys' energy back up after all the physical exertion.
And it works!
There's rarely anything left after about 20 boxes of Little Debbies have been emptied.

Same goes for the bananas, which I pull apart from the bunch and display so elegantly in a 99 cent aluminum tray normally used for cooking turkies.
But someone was taking more than their fair share of bananas at a recent event.
And I found him.
He was Colombian and he was bringing them back into the "maze" area of the play space.
I thought he was attractive (I had been eyeing him all night!), so I flirted. He took the bait and asked if I wanted to join him in a scene he had already started.
I followed.

There was someone there -- waiting in the maze, in a small room just big enough to fit a twin sized mattress.

Wait, I'm actually I'm jumping ahead.

At first "Colombo" was just rimming the guy and I couldn't really see what was going on. But Colombo's ass was sticking out and I hadn't eaten any in MONTHS and a Colombian ass was just the flavor or International Coffee I was looking for!
So as he ate a white guy's ass, this white guy ate his.

And he clearly seemed into.
So much so that I asked if he wanted to get fucked. And pushing it even further, was he into getting fisted?

Yes and yes!
But before I entered him safely with a condom (conveniently located with lube in a small box attached to the wall in the small room we were in) he asked if I could get four bananas to stick up there.
I guess he REALLY must be into fisting!

So I retrieved the bananas and came back, ready to make my fruit delivery.
Also as requested, I fucked him first the normal way (using a condom of course), doggie style on the black vinyl padded twin sized mattress. He was SO into it. And because of the position, it was clear he couldn't do what he was doing before, so the other white guy left and it was just the two of us (with MANY people looking in and grabbing at us if they were close enough, but I just pushed away any hands that were invading our space.)

Normal fucking done, he was ready for the bananas.
But it wasn't like they would all go in together like a fist. Or one added to the next to widen his sphincter.
He wanted them peeled and pushed inside, one after the other, and then fucked while the bananas were still up there.
Uh... ok.
I'm a team player!

But wait. Is that what he was doing to the other guy? Putting bananas up HIS ass and then RIMMING him?
But couldn't that get a bit... ya know.
But the other guy was gone and it was just the two of us now, so I fucked him with a couple peeled bananas inside his ass, not really able to feel what was inside there with my dick. I guess it just got too mushy.

The area was becoming fragrant with bananas!
Peels on the floor, smeared bananas on the vinyl bed sheet and even our bodies covered with bananas in certain areas.
After a while it was all a bit much and I started to lose interest, so I decided to switch things up and try putting my fist in there.
So I took the banana-lubed condom off my dick and wrapped it over my hand and started inserting the tips of my fingers.

It was then, that I could feel the bananas and also realize that he was not a true fisting bottom. He liked the IDEA of getting fisted, but realistically, my hands were just too big.

And those bananas inside? I HOPE they were bananas, because they really felt like something else.

After realizing the fisting was going nowhere and having run out bananas -- with them smeared all over the bed and on the floor (it was messy, but the ones in his ass REMAINED in his ass), he asked if I was 'open' to putting a banana up MY ass!
I was...

So he went to get one.

But I was really more intent on finishing our play and cumming.

When he returned with the banana and set it down on the bed, I was standing up on the mattress, masturbating.
He said that when (or if) he put the banana up my ass and ate it out -- if it came out a little "dirty" that was ok with him.
And on that note, I shot my load all over his face, ending our play before any fruit was ever introduced to my butt.
It was not going to happen this time around. Maybe next time.
Maybe not.

But he gave me his contact info.

And maybe one day he'll eat my shit -- or rather, the shit that's stuck to a banana coming out of my ass.

But until that moment happens, I think I'll stick to having bananas on my cereal for breakfast and call it a day.